That posterior, however. 

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats) 06/22/2016 at 04:54 • Filed to: None

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This is a crappy low-light zoomed phone photo, but that’s what you get at 5 in the morning.

Also, BMW drivers take note: this is how you can both avoid door dings and not be a jerk.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 05:32

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Still beeing a jerk if not handicaped.
And avoiding door dings but risking scratches due to keying.

The Dummy Gummy > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 06:32

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I hope/assume the above is sarcasm. But if not, it looks like the spot to the left of it is another handicap spot so basically that guy is fucking over anyone who has a van with a ramp on the side.

Urambo Tauro > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 07:18

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Bad garage design, though. Notice how the layout assumes that the Altima’s PASSENGER is the handicapped one who needs the extra room. (Sure, maybe the car could turn around to place the walking zone on the driver’s side, but don’t parking garages often dictate “do not back into spaces”?)

Honeybunchesofgoats > The Dummy Gummy 06/22/2016 at 07:20

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Doh. I didn’t even think of that. I feel dumb now.

In my defense, here’s the uncropped view.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 06/22/2016 at 07:22

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He/she is definitely has a hang tag. The handicapped spots are right across from the 24-hour attendant and they’re very zealous ticketers (payment for tickets is ensured by booting any car that gets a ticket).

Honeybunchesofgoats > Urambo Tauro 06/22/2016 at 07:31

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It’s definitely one of the worst designed parking garages I’ve ever been in. On the higher levels, there’s no cushion between the spots on the corners and the two traffic lanes, which basically creates very tight blind corners that are extremely risky if cars are coming in the opposite direction.

On the plus side, if you’re willing to walk and potentially wait through a five level back up of exiting cars, you can get a giant corner spot all to yourself.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 07:31

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Ooh, OK. Doesn’t look like the kind of car a handicaped persn would drive (low, so hard to get in and out), but I there must be a valid reason for the tag I guess.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 06/22/2016 at 07:35

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I agree, but I assume it's a valid reason unless he just borrowed it from a family member just to use handicapped garage spots. Which I guess is very possible.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 07:38

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Wow, I think I just had the best business idea ever!

Urambo Tauro > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 07:42

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I wonder how that big corner spot came to be? The logical choice would be to divide the available space equally between the number of parking spots, and give a few extra inches to each one.

Unfortunately, parking lots of all types are usually designed to maximize capacity, using the MINIMUM width allowed by law. Those laws are often outdated, and don’t work well with the model bloat that all modern cars are suffering.

I bet that in this case, they made all the spaces as small as they could get away with, and were left with one remaining spot that they couldn’t split into two.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 07:48

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I pretty sure parking halfway across the area intended for wheel chairs makes you a jerk.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 08:00

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He did help the Kia driver by providing more room though!

Honeybunchesofgoats > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 06/22/2016 at 08:06

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Glass half full!

Honeybunchesofgoats > Urambo Tauro 06/22/2016 at 08:19

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Basically, because there’s a stairwell to one side and the corner of the garage can’t be used without without the risk getting blocked in (people would try before they put up stanchions), they couldn’t fit more than two spots in that area. With the exception of these two wide spots on every upper floor, there’s maybe six inches of clearance on either side for a perfectly centered normal sized car. I don’t even bother with a parking pass, since the reserved spots are all so terrible and tight.

Here’s an awful diagram:

OPPOsaurus WRX > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 08:23

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floor plans !!!!!!

Matt Nichelson > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 08:31

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*notices tag*

Eh, Santa is just getting bad at parking in his old age.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 08:45

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Holy shit you take the train out of Hamilton station? Lol small world.

Also I always eye your Jag when I get in.

Pro tip for fellow Oppo. If you arrive around a couple of minutes after a west bound train gets there in the morning, you can normally find one of the ground floor open and they’re wider than the ones higher up.

Edit: just saw your arrival time, god speed as I remember those hours when I was catching the 5:30 train into NYC.

The Dummy Gummy > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 09:31

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Ha no worries. That is a lot of filled handicap spots.

TheRealBicycleBuck > The Dummy Gummy 06/22/2016 at 09:46

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Agreed. A friend of mine’s son has always been in a wheelchair, so they have a van with a side-access ramp. He’s always having problems with both the general public parking in handicap spots, or other handicap users parking so they block access to the ramp zone. He talked about switching to a van with rear access, but hasn’t found one which provides adequate seating for his other kids while still providing access for the wheelchair.

In short, people suck, whether handicapped or not.

Honeybunchesofgoats > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 06/22/2016 at 10:14

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No way! That’s awesome. Try not to eye the Jag too closely or you’ll notice the soul-crushing dent in the roof that I haven’t had time to get fixed yet :/

Yeah, I come at sort of a dead spot for Trenton-bound trains. I figured that I must arrive before you, because I’d definitely notice someone else DDing an unreliable British car.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 10:30

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Yep, I normally take the 8:18 into NYC so 50/50 I either park on the 5th floor or in the 3rd row by the back doors depending on if west bound trains are delayed or not.

My unreliable British vehicle is kind of hard to miss though.

Urambo Tauro > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 10:35

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That clears it up. Thanks! I was under the impression that the “big spot” was at one end of a long row of spots.

I’m not used to seeing true open corners in parking garages. Those areas are usually occupied with a stairwell or elevator to avoid leaving an unusable area which, as you described, would just block someone in if they were to park there.

Honeybunchesofgoats > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 06/22/2016 at 10:41

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That’s gorgeous. I really want one to pair with my Jag. Also, is that a BRG X-Type?

Luckily, I’m there early enough that I can almost always get one of the two corner spots on either the 3rd or 4th floor. When I was using my Town Car, I used to take one of the far corners before the ramps by the side stairs and just get close to the concrete pillars, but the Jag has lower seating and worse visibility, so I knew that would end in tears if I kept it up.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 11:07

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Yep, I may have a slight affinity to unreliable British vehicles...

Although the X-Type has a hint of coolant smell and the back brakes need to be done so I’m just driving the Disco because I love it so.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Urambo Tauro 06/22/2016 at 11:11

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Yeah, in this case it’s kind of weird. On the ground floor, there’s an exit at that corner, so the couldn’t put stairs there (but they do in two other corners).

Also, having conversations about parking garage layouts is why I love Oppo.

Honeybunchesofgoats > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 06/22/2016 at 11:17

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Does it use plastic thermostat and coolant reservoirs like the XJ8? That’s was a painful introduction to Jag ownership for me.

Is the X-Type manual or auto? I was looking very seriously at X-Type wagons, but they all seem to be auto and I got scared away by all of the stories of frequent transmission failures.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/22/2016 at 11:32

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Manual with the sports package and yes it does have the plastic reservoir. Probably should check that as I’ve replaced it once before.

Honeybunchesofgoats > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 06/22/2016 at 14:09

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Mine had cracked and was leaking, but luckily for me, I didn't really notice since the thermostat had failed and the hoses kept blowing off.